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Witnessed
Cannibal Corpse, Dying Fetus, Vital Remains: 2010-11-19
17/12/10 || InquisitorGeneralis
Who: Cannibal Corpse, Dying Fetus, and Vital Remains.
When: 11-19-2010.
Where: Santos Party House; Teh Big Fucken Apple, USA.
Inquisitorfeturalis: Oh shit, it’s time for another dynamic duo review from Global Domination’s most bromantically linked staffers, IG and Daemo. This time, we are really upping the cockpuke quotient and ruining a live concert with our nonsensical bullshit instead of a measly record. For a review of this magnitude, an epic concert of pure awesomeness is necessary and demanded. Who could provide this? Cannibal Corpse and Dying Fetus. That’s who. So, with our dicks firmly in each other’s hands we set out to see two of the most influential, popular, and long-running death metal acts to burst out from our side of the pond. I love Dying Fetus more than Lynsey Lohan loves doing coke off of erect dicks. Check out my coverage of the Facemelter Tour for my thoughts on a Fetus headlining show. Corpse ain’t bad either jack. This show was for real. Color me bonered.
You’re hosts IG and Daemo. Seriously, how gay does Daemo look in this picture?
Daemonomania: Don’t forget Vital Remains. And do forget Devourment, since we were much better off polishing off a few extra beers that seeing scene-kid slamdeath.
I’mgay: Fuck, how could I forget the nail hammersmiths? More on Vital Remains and their anti-Christ antics later. I am certainly no Devourment fan but I don’t really see a lot of Scenekids liking them, although they certainly do dwell in the derivative zone of slam breakdowns and whatnot. Anywho, this whole affair started when I arrived in the isle of Manhattan to meet my hetero-sexual life partner at his swanky mid-town workplace. See, the two of us would not only be going to the show together, but also be sharing a stylin’ room together later that night. Mrs. Daemo had friends in town so us fellas had to find other accommodations. Can you feel the love tonight?
Daepthroat: I sure could, especially when I came down to collect you and saw you in that bathrobe…fresh out of the shower. Hot. Steaming hot. Nothing quite says perfect mandate like a quiet hotel room in which to retreat after a hectic concert experience.
Daemo was erect the entire evening…
Inthemood: It didn’t stay quiet for long. After I showered and Daemo questioned his sexuality, we headed out to a local watering hole named Point Break which was full of Manhattan corporate douchebags playing beer pong and plotting the exploitation of foreign labor markets. However, the drinks were cheap, strong, and plentiful. Most importantly, Point Break featured this shining tribute to the legendary Patrick Swayze. Hopefully, he is riding the big pipeline in the sky right now.
The bar really did have this on the wall, it inspired us to push our livers to the limit and to walk along the razor’s edge,,,
Daeneath the Remains: Yeah, it was good to see Teh Schwayze. Made me want to strip my shirt off and do some Tai Chi while smoking a cigarette. The bar was filled with suits downstairs, and had a beer pong table surrounded by 15 year olds upstairs. But what mattered was that we drank a few Sierra Nevadas and got ready to rock and/or roll. One short, non-stumbling stroll through Times Square later and we were on our way to Chinatown.
NYC Subway posters fucking rule…
Innerselferalis: We reached Santos Party House, a relatively new club in the heart of Manhattan’s Chinatown (a.k.a the craziest place on Earth) and were encouraged to find out that the show was sold out. A big crowd always adds major fun and excitement to a serious death metal show. We (thankfully) arrived as soon as Devourment finished which allow us to scope out the merchandise section and grab some cold beers. The merch selection for all the bands sucked. The beer did not. After settling in to a nice spot in the middle of the concert hall, we prepared for a blistering assault from Rhode Island’s finest, Vital Remains…
Daethroned: Yeah, I’ve since heard that the sound system at Santo’s Party is top notch, and they are willing to put just about any type of music on the bill. Pretty dope venue – good cheap “house” beer, relatively sanitary bathroom facilities, plenty of dark corners in which to practice Shinshi Shinshi with your lover. Anyway, being a Rhode Islander myself I have always had a soft spot for Vital Remains, though listening to their 90 minute blastfests is often a chore.
Insanityofthemind: Yeah, the beer was good and the venue was pretty fucken cool. Thankfully, Vital Remains only had about 25-30 minutes so the time for ear-raping blasting was limited. Teh Remains played a four song set with a few songs being mix’n‘matched. The highlight moment for me was “Hammer down the nails” which totally slayed and was accentuated with the lead singer’s hilarious pounding motions. I really did not recognize anything else except for pieces of “Dechristianize” in the final song/medley. This is now four times that I have seen Vital Remains and still no “Savior to none, failure for all”; the one song by them that I truly love. Oh well, the Rhode Islanders are entertaining live but I will never see them as being anything more than a decent opening act.
DaeChristmasize: Yeah, that hammering shit was quite funny. And the end of “De-chromosome” ruled supreme. What a pleasant release from being drumbeaten into submission. I also had a chance to chat, randomly, with the singer about the glories of being from Little Rhody specifically and the power of Deff Metal in general. Sometime in this band break we ran into the part owner/bartendress from the “Lucky 13”:http://www.myspace.com/lucky13saloon. Not only does it boost your scene cred to know someone at a show, but she went ahead and called us “old schoolers”. At this point I had enough kvlt points to redeem ‘em for a Harrier jumpjet.
Inquisitor’s Note: This is a picture of said bartendress/metalqueen
deluxe at Lucky 13 Saloon during Daemo’s bachelor party! If you look
closely, you can see she is holding the party itinerary!
Vital Remains setlist
Where Is Your God Now/Icons Of Evil
Devoured Elisyum
Hammer Down The Nails
Let The Killing Begin/Dechristianize
Inthesignofevil: Oh yes, to be referred to as “old-school” by tattooed metalbabes who run kickass metalbars adds a several inches to the old cock! Next up was what I was cravin’, Dying Fucking Fetus. Having seen John, Sean, and Trey before multiple times I knew what to expect…awesomeness, pure goddamn death/grind awesomeness. Daemo, would this finally be the moment where you admit your gayness and accept Dying Fetus as your Lord and Savior?
Daenote the Antidote: Nope. The Fetusian Ones will
never really do it for me on record, but I must admit the
burpa-burp-burp breakdown machine was in fine working order this
evening. They are precise, brutal, and know how to get the fists flying
in the pit. Great live band, though they did not play my all time
favorite “We are your enemy”.
Injectthepoison: One day you will acknowledge the awesomeness of Fetus’ discography, but seeing you honestly enjoy the band live brought a tear to my eye. Fetus tore through the expected, classic songs “Praise the lord”, “One shot, one kill”, “Homicidal retribution”, and “Kill your mother, rape your dog”. The only song from the newest record was “Your treachery will die with you”. A nice deep cut was “Eviscerated offspring” which is one of the best songs from the band’s early, more straight-up death metal days. My pick for best song on this night was either “Praise the lord”, which is one of the best songs ever to open a live set with, or “Killing on adrenaline” itself which brought the house down with intense moshing and beer spilling. Overall, the Fetus was tight as hell and delivered a great show. Trey especially seems to get better every fucking time on ze drums.
Drying Pitas: I would like to add that a warm, pleasant feeling of the Brotherhood ov Metal was strong in Santo’s Party House that night. Dunno if it was because I’d downed a few brews, or if I was a little older than most of the concertgoers, but I felt a sense of being removed from it all and able to look upon the Bensonhurst kids in wifebeaters, the scraggly NYU students in obscure BM shirts, and the putzy old farts like us passing gas sneakily – and smile. What a great musical genre ‘tis to which we all adhere. It unites young and old, stupid and more stupid to act like maniacs and get whiplash and spill beer all over the place. I’m rambling. Anyway, the force was strong with the Fetus.
This is the only shot of Dying Fetus that came out, cameras can only handle soo much blasting!
Dying Fetus setlist
Praise the Lord (Opium of the Masses)
Your Treachery Will Die With You
Eviscerated Offspring
Raped on the Altar
Homicidal Retribution
One Shot One Kill
Killing on Adrenaline
Grotesque Impalement
Kill Your Mother/Rape Your Dog
Inviting Remains: Tis’ true, the air was thick with sweat, grease, and deep bromantic, metal love. I am sure we were not the only duo returning to a secluded hotel room that night. While never being a huge fan of Cannibal Corpse, I appreciate their status as titans of ze metal ov death. By now, the crowd was definitely pumped up, drunk as hell, and ready to be fucked with knives.
Daevoured by Sherman:: And romanced by cutlery they were soon to be. After a short break CC DeCorpse took the stage and began laying into the blistering song wittily entitled…got me. Every tune sounded almost exactly the same right up until the closer “Hammer smashed face”.
Infested by Grant: On this, I agree. The only songs that stood out during Teh Corpse’s set where the slower, groovier “Death walking terror” and “Evisceration plague”. Obviously, “Hammer smashed penis” was a big hit too. Still, I enjoyed them mostly due to the antics of the Corpsgrinder. The dude headbangs so goddamn much that he has the neck of a bull Hippo and his hair instantly goes into a perfect swirl when he fires up the 360 Degree head bang. I think the drummer is the only original Corpseman from back in the day? I am probably wrong. CC Metal Factory was good and the crowd was definitely into them, but Dying Fetus was way better…in my not so humble and/or biased opinion.
The Grinder laying down the rules for stage-diving!
Dan’s Experiment in Homey-cide: Yeah man, Big George’s headstem is thicker than a pot of molasses left outside of an Antarctic research station manned by Furious Fart and The Thing in the dead of December. He looks like a cool dude to me. pudgy faced bro who would drink a few White Russians and try to hit on a chick and fail horrifically. I was a bit disappointed by the monotone nature of his vocals, which didn’t help the one long song phenomenon. Yep, Fetus was better. But I can’t say I didn’t have fun seeing Cancun Copse live again. IG, tell ‘em about how you got us some free beers.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter: I got us free beer just for being me. No, seriously, the bartender looked over at my smiling, hairy face and said “that guys looks like he needs a beer”. However, he requested that I go fuck shit up in the pit first. Seeing as I would sell my own grandmother on the street for a free beer, raining pain on some NYC metalpunks was less of a chore and more of blessing. Needless to say, teh beer flowed on the free after that. It helped make the Corpsexperience all the better! After leaving the show content and intoxicated, me and Daemo stumbled around lower Manhattan searching for a place to chow down. We located a deli, ordered Chicken Parms, Chicken Salads, and Chicken Souls, brought the swag back to the ho-tel, put Nile on the iPod and well….you know. Gentlemen don’t tell tales in school…
Teh Corpse pounded out one song after another…the same song!
Cannibal Corpse setlist
Scalding Hail
Unleashing the Bloodthirsty
Savage Butchery
Sentenced to Burn
Wretched Spawn
I Will Kill You
I Cum Blood
Gutted
Evisceration Plague
Time to Kill is Now
Death Walking Terror
Shatter Their Bones
Make Them Suffer
Priests of Sodom
Staring Through the Eyes of the Dead
Devoured by Vermin
Skull Full of Maggots
Hammer Smashed Face
Stripped Raped and Strangled
Daebating de Daesires Within: Jeebus, we absolutely destroyed those chicken sandwiches, except you left half of one sitting on the windowsill wafting the smell of old cold cuts into the room all night. I made the dumb mistake of getting a bottle which I had no means to open, so me and IG swapped some spit along with some shitty Budweiser and Niled, Runemagicked, Dew Scented, and Celestial Seasoned our way into a comfy night’s sleep. There were two beds in the room, but one of them was mysteriously pristine the next morning. You figure it out. On a side note, I woke up feeling a bit dumpy the next day, took a shower, and walked over to take a practice LSAT. Did pretty fucken good, surprisingly.
Intrigued By Forbidden Thoughts: There are casualties in war sir. That half of a Panini was one of them. So was the Budweiser we drank, and spilled, all over the room. Thankfully, your test scores did not die out in the no man’s land that was that room. Sadly, our manhood and morality did. Well Global Domination, that about wraps it up. Can you ask for more? Swayze, free beer, Dying Fetus, neck muscles, dude love…does is get any better?
Daeceitful: Word, the minute I stepped out of bed it was right into a puddle of cold…uhhhh…beer. Anyway, it does not get any better. Take ‘em home with one final word from the wise, brotherman.
Insightful: Hey hey, smoke weed (not cock) and listen to Dying Fetus every fucking day.
